He should know by now but, for whatever reason, I was given the benefit of doubt, again. My husband called me this morning to inform me that he'd be stopping by later to pick up his raincoat... 'Great, thanks for the warning' I thought. I probably should have taken his subtle hint as a warning, but I didn't.
At about 10:30 he stopped by with a company superior in tow only to find me on the couch in my pjs and slippers researching natural deodorants. There I was, wife perfection, basking in the embarrassment that was written all over my husbands face. The house reeked of my first crockpot attempt that was last nights failed dinner. Nailing it. I had an awkward conversation with our guest about his sons love of American history and more specifically Civil War history, welcome to Fredericksburg. They didn't stay long and although I've already trauma blocked the situation, I'm certain, I assured them both that I would try and be 'on top of my game' next time. Sure.
There is an extremely high chance that I may be served divorce papers later today.
But you see this encounter goes perfectly with everything else that has happened this week (It's Tuesday). I can only assume that the full moon is working it's juju on me... again.
Under husbands watchful eyes, Pippin got in a fight with a barbed wire fence and lost, resulting in multiple panic-y phone calls and a trip to the emergency vet. Just in time for Halloween our sweet German Shorthair decided to be FrankenPup and really went all out with her costume, topping it all off with ten, yes TEN, staples on her shoulder. People literally shutter when we pass them walking. It's really impressive and gross. Fortunately it has healed well and she's an extraordinary patient.
I impulsively decided to cut my hair off. It's short and I think I love it. It's proving to be hard to manage and definitely added to my unkempt appearance this morning. I also think it makes me look more my age. Yikes. Speaking of being my age my chiropractor informed me yesterday that I may have arthritis in my neck. Is 30 the new 90... what is going on?! She assured me that it really wasn't a big deal and that I shouldn't panic. Ok... Great but too late.
In an attempt to remind myself that age is simply just a number, I decided to attend my first "Power" yoga class. I generally lean (see what I did there?) towards the more restorative type of classes but I obviously had something to prove to the universe and thought it was time I show them how Power is done. So, in case you were curious, I do Power with excessive sweating (hints the deodorant research), lots of Childs pose, eye rolls, and loads of inappropriate internal dialogue. My take away is that I should probably be doing Power on a more regular basis. Rome was not conquered overnight... as they say, or maybe they don't. You get the idea, it was humbling and hard as hell. I actually wish I had been there today at around 10:30 because my Civil War chat was about a billion times harder than balancing on one foot with my eyes closed.
Despite all my recent awkwardness I can not contain my laughter and have continued to find the humor in it all. I mean, I must be losing it. I usually haven't even made it through said awkwardness before I'm laughing about it. For example, in Power class we were attempting kick ups, working towards handstands and I almost took out the instructor, only to be laughing uncontrollably before I hit the ground. I mean, shit like this has been happening on the reg, like every hour. Oh... just a day in the life. It's pretty freaking fabulous. But seriously, what is going on?
So hopefully my husband, if he'll still have me, has learned his lesson-- I'm going to need his warning calls to be a little less subtle and I'm also going to need at least an hour notice. I also hope the fun and humor continue because everything, including awkwardness, is more fun when you can laugh about it.