I've been doing CrossFit for just over 2.5 years and I still don't consider myself one of them. That's weird considering some weeks I spend hours in my gym. I think that CrossFit is literally the opposite of me. However, I've never experienced anything else quite like it. I would even go so far as to say that sometimes, I love it. It pushes you, stretches you, calms you, builds you, humbles you, teaches you, and beats the shit out of you. I like that on a daily basis it takes me out of my comfort zone. CrossFit embodies lots of things that make me uncomfortable- people, testosterone, other peoples sweat, competition, weights, gym selfies, workouts, yelling, etc. and delivers it to me in a package that I can't seem to live without. For whatever reason, I keep showing up. The only give away to the outside world that I CrossFit are the callus' on my hands and when you see my traps in a dress.
Yesterday, I competed in my first ever (and probably last) CrossFit competition. Yes, there are actually events held for people to compete at working out. It is loud, crowded, intimidating, uncomfortable, nerve wrecking, and people are not there to just show off their six packs (they do this too) but they are there to WIN. The people watching is maybe the best I've ever seen, I'm not kidding. I just wish I had been able to experience it all with Harry Potters invisibility cloak. This particular event is held at a convention center so picture an enormous room with a dj, not kidding (my ears are still ringing) full of peacocks and every single one of them is displaying their tail feathers. It's pretty much my kryptonite.
The CrossFit world is a special beast. My gym (or box as 'they' refer to them), CrossFit Rappahannock, is an amazing community of hardworking, genuine, and fun people. I feel very supported by them and I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with why I actually signed up for this competition even though every fiber of my being told me not to. That and the fact that my ego is an asshole and apparently needs to be able to say that I've done this. I'm hoping that yesterday was enough to shut it up for a while.
I realized a lot of things yesterday. And maybe the most important thing was that I should listen to my inner voice. I am definitely competitive by nature but I'm certain that yesterday was the first time, in my life, that I competed in something that I wasn't 100% confident in. I had an amazing and capable partner and I don't, even for a second, want to discredit her hard work. I wasn't prepared like I should have been and therefore didn't enter this competition in the best position. In retrospect, I should have put more emphasis on the experience part and less on the actual competing part.
To be crystal clear, I didn't expect to be walking away with any trophies yesterday, but I did set goals and standards for myself and our team. We did our best, unfortunately our best left me with a bruised ego. Out of 60 teams in our division we finished in 28th. Dang, just made the top half!
I'm going to put this experience in my back pocket (if only my yoga pants had them) and get back to what I love about this sport, improving and pushing myself. What an experience. I laughed, pushed hard, shook with fear, drank too much pre-workout, lifted more than my body weight (multiple times), sweated profusely, cried, and did my best. I'm proud of myself for trying and learning but I don't think I've ever been more excited for something to be over.