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Home isn’t a place, it’s you.

When I met my husband, almost a decade ago (what?!), that saying finally made sense. His presence helped to ground me. He made me feel more at home in myself than I ever had before. I’ve talked about it before and I’m sure I’ll talk about it again but my feelings about home are pretty strong. I was blessed with a remarkable childhood, in an idyllic setting, with the most amazing family, friends and roll models, many of which have remained in my life. I am convinced that because of that foundation and those roots, I can go anywhere and feel at home.

So, what happens when the physical places you call home change? And some of the people have passed on? And the foundation and roots that seemed so stable are forced to weather the storms of time? What happens when you feel your bedrock shake?

In my case, you have a few breakdowns. Who am I kidding? You have a significant amount of breakdowns. Maybe it’s a mourning of what no longer is but then you start to move on, really, you will. Our lives are meant to change, to flow, and it’s actually a really beautiful thing. The issues, at least for me, occur when I start to resist the change. I know that I’m resistant because I can get pretty cozy in my comfort zone.

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2018 was a particularly challenging year for me. I know I know, you’re probably wondering why in the world I’m bringing up 2018, because duh, it’s 2019. I’m bringing it up because it’s relevant, I promise. I’ve given myself an opportunity to feel all the feelings that came along with the hardships and I’ve realized that 2018 was challenging mostly because I’ve been resistant to the inevitable movement of life. True story, I’m having a a hard time with change and letting go of the things I know are ready to move on.

You may also be wondering, why in the world is Steph sharing this? Great question. I’m sharing because I believe that most people have a hard time with accepting change. I think it’s a common theme. Resisting the movement of life is the root of our suffering. Maybe if I’m open and vulnerable and share my thoughts, it helps to illuminate the same realization for someone else.

The prize is in the process.
— Baron Baptiste

That is, by far, my favorite quote. It reminds me to S L O W D O W N and take it all in. Life isn’t about the finish line or the goal, it’s about the journey. Yes, what’s on the horizon can be exciting but try and do yourself the favor of not rushing to get there. The present moment is essential in preparing you for that end result, essential!

As we all charge forward into another year, I’m making an effort to slow down and enjoy the process of feeling at home exactly where I am and with who I am. When it’s time to let go of things, I hope to set them free with ease and grace. Instead of this laser focus on an unknown destination, I hope to be fully present right where I am, enjoying each moment entirely and sitting with whatever is showing up— good or bad. I hope the exact same for each of you.

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